what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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