two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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