I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
