So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
