He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sext me about skeletons
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize