I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
