happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I AM VODKA MAN
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
