If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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