I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
