i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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