Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
