someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
