people are starting to question the shark bite story
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
