But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
