Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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