My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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