Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
