You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
