Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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