I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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