i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
