So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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