And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
