walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
