Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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