Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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