Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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