Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We have started to decorate penises.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
