That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
