I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
