3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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