I must be too annoying 4 u.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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