***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
