it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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