I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
