Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
