that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
