Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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