think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
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Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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