Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
