i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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