One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
