Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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