and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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