He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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