so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
