There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize