Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
