I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
