I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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