Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
