I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
