Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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