I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And then my night got REAL pukey
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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