It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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