why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
