Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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