A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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