what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
