Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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