Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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