I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
