Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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