I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
