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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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• (310): View more from California

  we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.

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• (682): View more from Texas

  He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Score one for dad.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.

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• (619): View more from California

  Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?

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• (772): View more from Florida

  If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.

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