Well apparently he's into motor boating.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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