OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win