I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
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You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house