i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts