Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
