Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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