So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
