Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
