I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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