I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
