Apparently you make a good broom.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
