we have officially lost it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
